The Good Guys

We all know about organizations like the Salvation Army, Union Gospel Mission and the Presbyterian Night Shelter here in Fort Worth who provide services to the homeless community. While they are the largest and best known, there are many more who in their own way provide many of the same services but are not so well known or recognized for their hard work and caring.

Over the next few months I am going to talk about some of these lesser known organizations or groups of caring people. Some of these are church groups,, ministries and non-secular organizations. Some are just individuals who care and do what they can. Many of these groups and individuals I’ve personally come into contact with over the years.

The one thing they all have in common is that they really care and can take the time to personally talk to those they serve in the homeless community.

Some of the organizations I plan to talk about in future postings are Beautiful Feet Ministries, Hands of Hope, and the people who operate Unity Park. Others that I will be covering will be the groups and individuals who come down to Lancaster Ave. on Saturday mornings to distribute food and clothing.

If you know of a group, organization, church ministry or individual that I should cover in these posts please send me an email with a few details and contact information to garthkirksr@hotmail.com . These people deserve a pat on the back too.

My Story parts 4 & 5

My story

 

Part 4, the middle years

 

These middle years of my homelessness basically stretch from 2004 to 2009. My addictions were in full control. I had gotten and lost 2 full time jobs. I had been through a 4 month session in rehab to no avail. I had gotten arrested for drug possession and gone to jail even.

In the end though I began to see the light. To make a beginning in picking myself up. But old habits die hard. For all those many years I was an extremely sad, introverted, depressed addict. It was not enough to just get a handle on my addictions but at the same time I had to deal with my own personal problems that I was using drugs and alcohol to forget. To bury those problems so deeply that I wouldn’t have to deal with them. If I couldn’t deal with all my problems simultaneously, the addictions, the depression, the mistakes I’d made, my lack of dealing with people and all the problems I’d created for myself, then I would just go back to my addictions eventually. I know this because I’d tried to quit alcohol and drugs many times. I’d been through rehab many times and failed each time because I wasn’t ready to follow through and deal with my other issues.

I have 61 years of stuff to work through. 61 years of failures and successes. I’m not particularly proud of many of the things I’ve done in those middle years of my homelessness. On the other hand I’m not too proud anymore to hide them within myself and not speak of those things to others. Even that took me many years to figure out.

Of the several positive things that did occur during those middle years the one thing that sticks out is my newly re-found sense of Christianity. In this I met two Christian men early on and who are my friends to this day. They stuck with me through it all. The good and the bad. They didn’t give up on me. Even so I was the one who had to do all the heavy lifting.

My life was a complete mess. I couldn’t get away from my addictions. I kept on making bad decisions. In the end I had two choices. I could either continue as I was and continue to fail myself, my family and my few friends or I could work through all my problems, grow up and cure myself, which in the end we all have to do. Some of us do so at an earlier point in their lives and some don’t at all.

Now to recap those middle years. I was and out of control addict who had lost 2 jobs, spent most of my income on alcohol and drugs. I tried another round of rehab before returning eventually back to my addictions. I got arrested and sent to jail. Was given probation and community service to perform. Violated my probation and was returned to jail. There’s a whole story in the drug bust / jail time / probation alone. I then decided to start fixing me.

 

Part 5, These last few years

 

So far I’ve mostly talked about how out of control I was. In there, but buried down deep under the addictions was the depression, guilt and shame I felt even though I wasn’t willing to do anything about them.

The two men I spoke of earlier invited me to join them in their Christian mens group meetings every week and are still part of my life. My time on probation required me to do 120 hours of community service which I completed in about a month and a half at the Beautiful Feet Ministries. I began cooking lunches there everyday for the homeless people who showed up. I even stayed on as a volunteer before going back to jail on a probation violation which was completely my fault. The long and the short of it was I participated fully at the Beautiful Feet and was considered part of the staff.

With the men’s group and participating in the Christian activities at the Beautiful Feet I started getting some of the tools I would need to help myself.

After finishing all my jail time I returned to the Beautiful Feet as a volunteer but with a different outlook on many things. One of the biggest of my personal problems was my introverted nature. Rather than deal with people I avoided them and when I really had to deal with anyone it was a serious struggle. Needless to say, because it was easier to ignore a problem, ignore a need, avoid people or even not asking for help because of my introverted nature this had to become a priority.

From here I could go on about things that I did or happened over these last 3 or 4 years. Truthfully I can’t explain properly all the changes I’ve made in myself and the way I now live. I could talk about all the time I’ve put in doing volunteer work helping other homeless people. I could talk about all the different Christian activities I’ve been involved with or my growing faith.

What I am certain of is that I now have more friends, real friends than I’ve ever had before. My daily life is a busy one doing whatever needs doing. How I live is miles ahead of the way I once lived. I’ve been blessed with my health, good friends and a comfortable home (yes I call my camp a home). I go to food banks every week for supplies, I pick up aluminum cans for a few extra dollars. I do a weekly bible study and church every Sunday. I do my volunteer work and mostly I’m enjoying my lifestyle such as it is. That’s not to say I’m going to stop looking to improve my lifestyle or myself. I still wish to find a job and move out of this camp. Some of my friends have even said that this may be my year to do so. I pray it is. But if not I have a plan for that too.

 

As this blog progresses I will continue to talk about some of the details of the things I've done, but for now understand my life is still a work in progress.

 

 

Another Ramble part 2

If you read the post I did last week about the population explosion in the unsheltered homeless in my area alone, there are in fact two major reasons. One as I spoke of was the number of homeless who are unsheltered has been increasing. That is a fact. Last January a census was performed to get a count of the total number of homeless people there were in the area. In prior surveys they were claiming there were about 140 unsheltered homeless in the Tarrant County area. I had some strong feelings about that particular number knowing as I do that there were far more unsheltered homeless than that. In fact in my particular area of town say within 2 miles of me there were at least that many unsheltered homeless or homeless people living in camps.

This latest census has indicated that there are now over 300 people in the Tarrant County area who are unsheltered. Again I have issues with that particular number and suggest that something on the order of 500 unsheltered homeless or so who live in camps throughout the Tarrant County region might be more accurate. Once again I will ask the people involved to at least be realistic. I do realize that showing the smaller number makes it look like they are at least keeping the homeless situation under control. On the other by being more realistic in the census numbers of the unsheltered homeless and the homeless in general will give them the information needed when they apply for the various federal and local grants that are available. By being more realistic about the numbers of unsheltered homeless they could gain a better understanding of what is needed outside of the shelters.

One other suggestion is that an active dialog should be established with the organizations who are actively working with the unsheltered homeless and to listen to what they have to say. Organizations such as Hand of Hope and the Catholic Charities SOS teams work exclusively with the unsheltered homeless and probably have a better handle on what is needed within that particular community of homeless people.

Lastly, for the most part the main homeless shelters are at capacity. The number of homeless people is increasing and the overflow has to go somewhere. From my perspective, the number of unsheltered homeless living in camps is increasing. In my little area where my camp is located there has been an increase from 2 people or camps in 2010 to between 18 and 22 people in 8 camps today. That's just in my little patch of woods alone. Other areas that I've visited recently seem to be seeing increases as well.

Another Ramble

I'm going to change the subject here a little bit. I will be posting more about my life as a homeless person in future posts but today I am going to ramble a bit.
Lately there has been a population explosion amongst the campers in my area. In my area or the patch of woods where I camp the population grew from 2 camps to 6 camps last July or August and just recently 4 more camps have shown up. I've been noticing a similar increase in the numbers of camps in several areas of the city that I normally travel through.
Whether this increase in the number of camps and the number of people who are camping is a result of the city closing down some camps elsewhere as they do from time to time for completely valid reasons or if this is a simple increase in the number of people who are becoming homeless and for whatever reason have decided to camp out is uncertain to me although I do intend to find out. I'll report on this increase later as more information is discovered.

On a related topic, with this increase in people who wish to set up a camp comes an increased need by the agencies and organizations who help the unsheltered homeless for the supplies they distribute around to the various camps. Truthfully I know that these organizations are extremely busy and have their hands full right now so donations are always in short supply. So I ask that you contact one of these organizations such as Hands of Hope or the Catholic Charities SOS team to see if you can help out with supplies or just your time. Another possibility that may be of interest is talk to your church to see if they would like to adopt a homeless camp or camps. As individuals you can even adopt a homeless person or persons yourself with the appropriate safeguards.

 I also don't see any true relief in sight for the homeless community in general either. With federal funding cuts looming on the horizon, substantial amounts of assistance will disappear. It's even possible that some people who are living in subsidized housing or on food assistance will return to the streets because of these possible funding cuts.

I say all this because I am not seeing any decrease in the numbers of homeless people and while the numbers of people who stay in the established shelters does remain constant, because of size constraints, the numbers of unsheltered homeless does seem to be rising and doing so dramatically.

My Story, Part 1 - 3

My Story

Part 1, My Objectives

 

Originally I did not intend to write about myself on this blog but as time went on I decided that my personal story is as important to describing the homeless condition as is talking about what other homeless people are doing in their own lives.

I’m not certain how many posts this series will contain nor how long it will take to write. In fact it just may be an ongoing project with no real ending. We shall see how this goes. Along the way I’ll still continue to change the subject and return to talking about things that are going on with other homeless people or the folks who are involved in helping the homeless.

 

Part 2, About Me

 

I’m 60 something years old and have been technically homeless since 2002. Truthfully, I became homeless in early 2000 but in that 2 year period between 2000 and 2002 I was fooling myself and saying that I was just taking a break from the mess I had made of my life.

My ultimate career choice became being an electronics technician although prior to that, while still in high school and for several years afterward I was an auto mechanic, I pumped gasoline, was a land surveyor and even a professional firefighter / paramedic.

My electronics career spanned about 30+ years and in some ways I’m still at it. I’ve been married twice, have two great children and a bunch of grandkids. My hobbies are a story in and of themselves as are my chosen career and my family.

Some of my hobbies were amateur radio, computer hacking (before hacking became a bad thing), hiking, backpacking, cave exploration, flying… well you get the idea. I did a lot of things as hobbies that were totally unrelated to each other and I still pursue some of them as I am able.

I was a nerd, a loner, an introvert with few friends and limited social skills.

Here’s where you are probably asking what this has any bearing on my homeless. I could just keep it simple and say that my homelessness is a result of my alcoholism or drug abuse issues. Truthfully those reasons are more of a symptom of larger problems and that the way I led my life ultimately brought me to this point.

In looking back, my path to homelessness began long ago. My early life, my education, my successes, my failures all contributed to where I am now.

Part 3, My Addictions

 

All of us are addicted to something. From innocuous or harmless to the harmful and destructive. Food, drink, all sorts of everyday things can be addictive as are alcohol and drugs. People can even become addicted to the internet or places on the internet.

I mentioned earlier that my addictions did not cause my homelessness but were a symptom of other issues. On the other hand, my addictions did play a part in my becoming homeless.

Most homeless people have alcohol or drug issues and sometimes both I’m no different. With me it was mostly alcohol but cocaine was in there to a lesser extent. I was an addict long before I became homeless. We are talking 20+ years of being an addict before becoming homeless as well as the first 4 or so years of my being homeless.

Even though I had gone through several alcohol and drug rehabilitation programs and many AA or NA meetings over a 10 year period I did not really quit using. I wasn’t ready to acknowledge, let alone deal with whatever issues I had that were keeping my addictions alive.

Whether it was my few months in prison with plenty of time to think, my developing Christianity or some other factor, I finally started dealing with my personal issues and along the way my addictions. I’ve been clean for several years now. In addition I’m no longer the introverted person I once was, I have more friends now, I actively deal with my personal issues, my social skills are improving and I don’t see the people who enabled me and my addictions very often

I’m still a work in progress, but I AM GETTING THERE!

 

Coming up soon will be some more of my life as a homeless person.