I have been "not-homeless" for about a year and a half now. I have had several "break downs" for want of a better term in this last year and a half. If not for certain people in my life who have faith in me, I could not have pulled this off.
Most people I run into who have not dealt with the homeless as I do and as I was, tend to think that if you provide a homeless person with a roof over his or her head then things will be OK. This is so wrong that you might as well throw your money at me as anyone.
Sure the statistics say that a large portion of the homeless community is only homeless for a few months at most.But, what about the rest of us? Take me for example. I was homeless for over 12 years and lived in a camp for more than 10 of those years. Where do you think my habits took me once I started working again? Where do you think my habits took me once I moved into my own apartment? After 10 years of a homeless lifestyle your habits do change .After 10 years you literally have to remake yourself over again.if you wish to succeed in becoming " not homeless " . Anything else is just letting yourself in for trouble or worse.
Sure, most people and even the homeless themselves will say, "just give me...". It's much more than that for those of us who have been homeless for more than a few months or are considered chronically homeless.
I said earlier that I have had some break-downs. I've had several since I started working again. The only reason I still am here is that I have had people around me who would not hesitate to call me out when they saw me start to stress out or loose it. Learning to be "normal" again after that much time is HARD.
Now how many chronically homeless people or people who have been homeless for a long period of time have the support I have had? Not very many. It takes a lot of support from all sorts of sources in order for a homeless person to make the transition.
I have to thank the lady who originally hired me for much of my new sanity. There is the family who adopted me in my last year of camping who have shown me much to help me adjust. Then there are many of the people I work with and who know my story who help me even though they don't know it. Even now, I still am adjusting to whatever normal is supposed to be.I still stress out at work. I stress out just paying bills!!!. I was stressing out even today... Really stressing out. I did my job and did it well but once I got home a couple of hours ago I again, broke down. I am writing this in an effort to get past this latest crisis as writing is a sort of therapy for me.
I will make it but I still have to adjust. I have to do what I need to do to keep myself moving forward in my life,my job and my relationships with others.
Granted, I am better now than I was a year ago. I am still a mess.
